08.13.09
sadness lingers
Three weeks ago tonight I was getting ready for chemo the next day. It would be a busy day as I also had a photo shoot for the Point Foundation that evening. It is what I do – every couple of weeks. But I also knew I would be seeing a wonderful woman – someone I had only met 6 months before. And that made things just a little better.
Six months ago Emily walked into our chemo class and introduced herself. She said she had heard I did readings for the nurses and other patients and was wondering if I might do a reading for her. She was such a beautiful woman – with striking eyes and a beautiful smile that lit up a room the minute she entered. She had stage 4 ovarian Cancer. You wouldn’t have known it.
We talked and of course I agreed to do her reading. It seems there was a guy she was interested in. The funny thing was, I got a name during the reading and when I said it, she smiled and said, “That is my ex..” I told her it was not over and he would be coming back. She was confused and said he had broken up with her and she was still not over him. Apparently he let his fear of her illness get to him. I told her that I understood for it was only a year before I broke up with Julie – or perhaps she broke up with me – I still don’t know – because we were both sick. Fear does things to you..
We talked for 3 hours – and got to know more of each other. She told me that she never allowed her friends or family to come with her to the clinic. I agreed. We both hide things from our friends and family – but we have our reasons. There is just something about how people treat you after they see you hooked up to tubes and machines and such. Gawd forbid if you have a port in your chest – then it is even worse. It is funny though how we both had so much in common, and had known each other for only a few hours. I had not laughed that hard since being with Julie close to a year ago. We even agreed to meet for brunch at Magnolia Cafe the first chance we got..
Emily called a few days later to set up the brunch date and to tell me her ex called, and without going into details, he had pulled out all the stops during his apology. They were going out Saturday and we would have brunch the next day to discuss it all.. They did get back together.
We spent the next few months hanging out when we could – she lived in the burbs and my schedule, well you know. But we always saw each other every two weeks – sitting in a clinic with tubes stuck in us.
I will go to chemo by myself in the morning. Emily passed away in her sleep yesterday.
I had some good news that brought happiness to my life these past few days. I shared it with many of my friends, and yet now, I just don’t care anymore. The most beautiful souls in the world continue to leave us. Life is not fair – in any way – and it may sound like a stupid cliche’, but it is the truth.
I will miss you Em…