01.01.09
Dying is easy, living is hard
So 2009 is upon is. I ran around and took pictures at local events all night. I talked to friends. I listened to it all. I thought about this past year then I wondered, “Why do so many people think today will change everything, I mean it is just another 24 hour period?”
I was asked by her sister to take down Julie’s myspace page today. I did, but saved everything. Emails from friends and so much more. Things she never got to read while she was in the hospital the last month. I am putting it all in a book – with her photo on the front – her blogs, her messages, her life. At least what it was the last year or so.
Julie never got to see the new year. I miss her a lot. And yet it made me think of the line I first heard on “House” – “Dying is easy, living is hard.”
He said that to Wilson after Amber died. I thought about it then and realized last night just how true it is. So many times I wanted to give up myself – to just stop all the meds and treatments. It would be so easy to just let go. I know that fighting is hard. I know it from myself and from the fight that this beautiful woman had to go through.
All around the world, it is 2009. All around the world people are hoping for changes in all they do – for the better. And yet wars continue to rage on. More people are being killed over land or religion or whatever. I just don’t understand sometimes and I realize that this saying fits here too. It is so easy for enemies to simply kill each other over their squabbles – no matter have real or imagined they may be. But actually trying to work through them – to find peace between enemies, to live side by side – *THAT* is hard!
Too often the human race takes the easy way out. All throughout history we have opted to make it easier. Who wouldn’t – I mean it is in our nature to do things the easy way when presented with a problem, right? I am just as guilty and perhaps more so in my own life. I work in computers by day and I have done a lot to make my job easier by automating all the things that would be repetitive or mundane. Would you blame me?
In the Mideast they continue to kill each other. People all over, from Iraq and Afghanistan to Pakistan and India and now Israel and Hamas and who knows where else. I mean I can’t keep track of it all.
Death – killing each other is so much easier than trying to work out the problems. It is quick and painless. Painless for the person doing the killing that is. I mean think about it – the people in the airplanes dropping the bombs or launching the missiles and rockets – they go home for dinner when they are done. Do they see what they have caused? And yet I don’t blame them – I can’t. I can’t blame anyone, since we all simply choose the easy way out.
Julie fought for her life in so many ways. She refused to be sick. She refused to accept what the doctors told her. She wanted to live. It was hard. I saw her. I saw her each month – changing in front of me. From someone I once layed next to and said “I love you,” to a shell of a person holding on. In the end, it was easier for her to leave. It was what she wanted. To end the pain. And yet, we, as the ones living around her, still feel it – still try to understand what God would take her from us. It is not easy.
2009 is here. It is supposed to bring change – for the better. It is supposed to bring hope from despair, happiness from sorrow and good fortune from sadness and poverty. But as a race, we will continue to choose the “easy” way out. We will bomb and kill and destroy – all in the name of land or god or something that means so little when you compare it to the lives lost.
My hope for this race – OUR race – the Human race – is to stop taking the easy way out. When you stop and think about it – it really is not that easy after all.
I miss you Jewels – with all my heart and soul – but I will not take the easy way out – just like you, I will fight. And just like you, I hope and pray I can make a difference in this world.
Peace, love and light
Kat