10.27.08
Challenges and change..
I just realized that almost all of my blogs have a category of “life” but honestly, what else do we blog about?
I went to Michigan this weekend to shoot a wedding of two beautiful women. The event was incredible and normally I do not blog about my weddings, but this is different. The wedding was unique in that it was hearing and deaf. For most of the ceremony it was silent – and signed. I have to admit, I was almost distracted at why I was there – to capture their event – because I was so intrigued by the movement and beauty of the silence. For those who did not sign, spoken interpretation was provided by way of radio headsets and a person who was softly interpreting the sign. I chose not to wear one of these headsets as I thought it would distract me. At most weddings, I tend to tune out since I am focused on “visualization” of the event.
I met the two lovely ladies before the event, during the rehearsal and many of the guests as well. As a special moment, I was actually given my name by the bride who was deaf. I was told this is culture – that a hearing person can not give you your signed name, even if they know sign. She signed “Kat” to me, with a “K” of course and it was simple, but very special to me. She also told me I am very easy to lip read. I tried to be aware of this through out the two day event as I was around many who were deaf and some who were hearing. I was like a school girl in a way – excited and nervous about shooting this event and hoping I would be able to convey the beauty as they had hoped.
Through out the entire 2 days, I was constantly reminded of the challenges we all face. I deal with “C” – and continue to face certain challenges it poses. But I wondered what it must like to be faced with a challenge at child hood, such as having no hearing? The sister of one bride spoke during the ceremony (one of few) and it was signed of course. She spoke of when she was a child and her “older” sister and she were growing up (see, no matter what, sisters are sisters – the younger always reminding the older who is OLDER! I know I do it to my sister all the time.) But anyway, she spoke of how when she was younger, she took playdoh and made it into a “hearing aide” and asked her parents when she would get hers. I almost cried. I held back.
Do we really understand what life is all about? The challenges we all face, day to day and in our lifetimes. Each of us in unique situations that in so many ways, others can not understand.
I can not know what it is like to grow up without my hearing – I have it. I can only wonder the challenges she faced. And yet the beauty of this woman and her partner, beamed as bright as any couple. The hearing partner was as beautiful and unique as the other. They truly loved each other and faced life with, at least on the surface, as I could see – no fears, doubts or hesitation. I was honored to be a part of this wonderful event.
We made it through the ceremony and the rest of the night. The formals would be shot the next day with the children and the dogs (yes, dogs – I mean they are lesbians – and yes the dogs were in the wedding – ring bearers!) They dressed again in their wedding outfits – a dress for one and a beautiful suit on the other. The children put on tuxes and a dress again. The dogs wore the wreaths of flowers. it seemed like it was just a very long wedding from the night before. We went to the beach – it was windy – but beautiful. I watched and shot. They all played – the dogs in the water, the kids in the sand. The two brides sat quietly as I posed them for their formals. It was easy as I asked them, “You just got married – remember the emotion from last night – feel it in each other and forget I am here. I will try to capture it”
They showed me a love that two people who truly know the journey through life and love can show. It was something I captured in the camera as best I could. They were stunning - sharing their love. And as a side note, to all those who oppose gay marriage, just go to a wedding sometime – look at the love that comes from two people – regardless of the sex – and tell me it is any different than the love of heterosexual couples!
I don’t know where I am going with this post. I guess I just wonder why relationships themselves have so many challenges. Why is life what it is with challenges for some that are so different? Or perhaps it is simply amazement of the love that these two people found..
As I prepared to leave, they told me they were so happy I was their photographer. My energy showed through and they know the photos will show them how I viewed the beauty of it all. They were touched by my spirit. Again, one bride reminded me of my signed name. I smiled and thanked her with a hug – a deaf hug as I was told – which is special and intense. The 3 of us hugged and almost cried – again. I only hope our paths will cross again some day. To see how their lives continue to grow in the love they share.
They have their challenges – we all do. But change is the one constant in the universe that I think allows us to over come any and all challenges. Just as they had to adapt and learn how to exist in this hearing world, we all must face our “deafness” in our own ways. Mine is called cancer. Yours may be called something else. All I know is that I have changed because of it. For the better. And I know I learned a lot about love this weekend. I know I will carry this experience with me for the rest of my life.
And finally, to the happy couple – I wish you both long life, happiness and most of all, thank you for touching my life with the love that you share..
Namaste
Kat
