Funny.. As it did catch my eye, but then I went on to read it:

“This is an emergency alert. Please read below and take action right now. Congress will likely be voting today on a bill that would force NOM and other 501(c)(4) to publicly disclose our donors and satisfy onerous new reporting requirements.

After the Prop 8 campaign in California, we got a taste of what happens when marriage supporters are publicly identified . . . Radical gay marriage activists target them individually — threatening their businesses, their employment, their property and in some cases even their lives. In California, individuals who had donated as little as $100 lost their jobs after protesters targeted their employers with an ongoing harassment campaign. “

Seriously, this is both laughable and scary. At the same time they want their “free speech” rights, but wish to take away ours. Our right to confront or picket those who would do the same to us. They want to hide in the shadows and yell “fire” but as long as they can’t be seen, they feel it is all OK. They are wrong.

I was never much of an activist in my younger years – too much work/travel and other things. In the past 10+ years, this has changed a lot. I see *them* for who they truly are – bigots who want to be able to silence all who disagree with their “morality”. They attack those who are different from them – biologically I might add, as it is NOT a choice – and then run to the shadows when we step up and say, “No.”

When we want to exercise our free speech rights by picketing a business who would speak out against us, they cry fowl. They run to “mommy” saying that we are “harassing them” – and yet they do not seem to understand that what they are doing is harassing and attacking others and then running and hiding.

Imagine the school yard – every night there was a “big game” or something that kept you out until after dark. You are walking home from school. A person jumps out in the darkness, beats you, then runs back in the shadows. This goes on for weeks, perhaps months. Each time you are bloodied just a little more. Each time you can do nothing for you can not see your attacker. The police step in and turn on big bright lights all over the city. The attackers cry “fowl” saying, “But you can see us, this is not fair!” They go to the police, wearing suits and ties and looking all proper, saying,

“You are taking away my rights by turning on these lights – people I hate can see me – this is not good – please turn them off – it is my right to hide in the shadows, if I can’t, they might defend themselves and we can’t have that.”

The police stare in disbelieve. it is ludicrous to think that being seen in public takes away anyone’s rights. And yet these people persist. They continue to fight and amass more people in the shadows – crying louder each time “you can’t see me, I can do anything I want as long as you don’t know who I am. It is my right!”

To hide in the shadows and attack others – to whimper and cry “unfair” when those you attack fight back – is the sign of a bully – plain and simple. Bullies always, in the end, get what they deserve. Whether it be someone “getting even” or in this case, someone simply “turning on the lights” – is all that it takes. Bullies don’t like to be seen – for then they too must be aware that people may not like them, and in this day and age, it can be easy to “hurt” a bully by simply putting them under a spotlight and saying to all who open their eyes – “Hey look, a bully…”

Please don’t let the bullies win. Tell them to come out from the shadows and if they don’t like us, tell us. We will exercise our free speech rights as well and say, “Fine, then allow us to show everyone your face and they will know who they are doing business with – then they can choose – or not – to continue to do business with you…”

Oh and have you ever noticed that when the bully can be “seen” they start saying it is your fault – calling you “radical” and other names – because you stand up for your same free speech rights? Gotta love it.

Let us BOTH keep our right to free speech as we stand in the bright lights – out from the darkness and from outside of the shadows..

-Kat

When I was growing up, I was just like every other kid. I went to school, got in trouble (didn’t we all) and heard voices. Wait? heard voices? Yes. I always thought it was just noise and was not until I got older that I would understand what it was.

So what does this have to do with oil? A story I wrote as a child – I was 15. I remember writing this because I had a dream about an English assignment I was working on. When I was young, there was an interesting switch in how English classes worked at my school – we had the option of picking “which” English class we took. One of them was “Science Fiction English.” I LOVED IT!

We had an assignment to write a short story.. Now, if you have not figured it out, it was 1975 when I was 15. So not too much going on, at least as a 15 year old, not much I cared about. Anyway, the story assignment was to write something about a futuristic Earth..

I had a dream the night before I began writing.

I was in a valley – a very large valley that was hard to describe. In fact so large that the mountains shaping the valley were hard to see – they stretched out for miles – and the sun was hot. So hot that it made the sand look like glass. There were men in the valley. Men and machines everywhere. I watched as I floated over the valley. I could hear them. The machines were oil drilling machines. They looked nothing like anything I had ever seen. They were not tall and ugly like you saw back them. They were small, streamline machines – only about 30 feet high and shiny and clean and quiet. It seemed like the “oil” machines of the future were nothing of what we saw now..

And yet, we still depended on oil. As they spoke, “Yep, this is the newest model, it can go deeper than anything we have ever built before. And it won’t get jammed up like others on some of the hard ‘crust’ we have encountered before. Yep, this one is not going to let us down. We know the oil is there – the satellite imaging proves it – and yes we understand we spent spent a bundle trying to get to it and been blocked, but this time we will make it.

The man listening to this nodded in agreement and smiled and simply said, “It better.”

They walked back to the control building, continuing their discussion, but the words faded. All I was focused on was the machine – shiny, quiet and very sleek. And the “drill” or whatever you wanted to call the bullet-shaped device, looked like a tiny version of a “bullet train”, and it made no noise as it pointed down and headed into the ground..

Hours passed, and hours turned into days. I hovered. I floated over this valley. Still just watching and listening. I heard nothing. On the 4th day cheers of joy were heard all over the drilling area – they had struck oil.. The oil was gushing out of the hole – at a force never before seen at any oil well… They brought in more machines to “cap” the well.. They struggled, and failed. The oil continued to burst through. More machines were brought in – it had been 2 days.. In those 2 days the oil started to cover the entire valley – the valley that went on for miles had a 1 inch covering of oil.. Like a huge bathtub slowly filling.

Day 5 and still no success. The oil continued to burst forth. They grew concerned as the valley continued to fill.. It was now day 7 and over 2 feet of oil filled the valley. They spoke of the trillions of dollars they were losing. They spoke of the properties of the oil – for they had been noticing how much more “pure” it seemed than any oil well ever struck, although it did have a strange color to it. The oil had a slightly reddish tinge to it – nothing you could really see at first, but as it filled more and more of the valley it began to be more noticeable… A dark red oil continued to gush forth…

Day 12 and still no success. Dozens of workers stood near the control building, standing in what was now a lake of chest high oil. Standing in their protective clothing they seemed to be out of ideas. They spoke of the “crust” and that the machine performed flawlessly, so why could they not put a cap on this fabulous resource – the resource they needed to keep all the countries of the Earth running with the energy they needed…

As they continued to talk, one of the engineers came walking out of one of the buildings and briskly apporached the group – fully clothed in his awkward protective clothing and moving just a bit too quickly.

He tripped…

He mask flew off and he braced himself as he fell forward. Standing up, covered with more of the oil, others rushed over to make sure he was OK. Out of breath, he was trying to speak. He wiped his face off. His hand covered in the oil. As he began to speak a sliver of the oil dribbled down his face and just to the corner of his mouth.

A taste..

Suddenly his eyes grew. He stared at his hand – covered in the think reddish goo.. He lifted his finger to his mouth, and stuck his tongue to the tip of the finger.. He eyes grew more and they looked out upon the “lake of oil” for as far as you could see.. He screamed!

“Oh my god, it’s Blood!!!!”

_______________________________________________________________________

I woke up. I wrote my story. We killed the earth. The drill had pierced her skin. We killed Gaia.

I got an A+. I cried.

My Mother and Father have been together 60 (soon 61) years. They instilled in me a lot of pride in everything I do – always striving to do it better. But they also told me that I should always surround myself with people I admire and those that you don’t, well, you don’t need them around. That is so true. The musicians and performers and especially friends I surround myself with are simply amazing. There are no other words to say – at least if I chose only one.

My mom has been watching Crystal Bowersox on Idol even before she realized I knew her. She loves her and then she remembered we were friends. She sent to me last night a reminder that made me cry. It was a comment Crystal had posted on one of my blogs over a year ago – and it reminded me why you are all so incredibly special. I won’t post the entire thing, but this is a small piece from it,

“…you’re positive outlook and determination inspires me, and you’ve touched more lives in a positive way, more than you know.”

Crystal, if that is true, then you and so many others inspire me to do more and be better and just keep on trying to make a difference.

To Crystal and every single person (seriously, too many to name) that have inspired me here in Chicago these past 4 years, I want to thank you all!! For making my life what it is, for helping me through cancer, for making me laugh, smile, giggle and just being there. For being amazing friends, musicians, confidants and beautiful souls.

And especially to my Mom, who, by sending that little reminder last night, made me realize that giving up anything I love is not what I do best – whether it be an Open Mic or anything else. I am not giving up, I can’t. It is not in me. It just means I have to adjust and change how things are to make them better – to bring more opportunities to more artists I will simply do whatever it takes.

Open Mic is back this coming Monday – and I will continue to look for new venues for more events and who knows, maybe someday there will even be my own club – supporting live music and art like never before – yeah, I have been thinking about it. You just never know…

And finally, if you are reading this, then you are among my friends and the people I care about, which means the “Thanks” goes to you!

Peace, love and light,
Kat

Most people know that much of my life revolves around the world of music. Not just any music – not the pop or other stuff you typically hear on the radio, but the heart and soul of music – the music that comes from local singer/songwriters.

I used to run a very popular Open Mic at a venue that had been a part of my life for over 4 years. I have written about Uncommon Ground before – some positive and some negative. it was simply another beginning and ending in my life’s journey. After I was unceremoniously let go from UG, I decided it was time to start new ventures with music. New shows and music series and also continue some that I had started there. I knew in my heart that the comments made to me by the owner, that it was an “end of an era” as he told me – “it was time to move on”, could not be true. Although I never thought of my tenure there as an “era” – kind of a strange way to word it. In any case, I was not going to let that get to me – as emotionally painful as it was. I knew I could expand everything that I loved about music – and just offer more venues and opportunities for musicians…

It has been a few months now since I was let go and of course music is still the core of my soul. It drives me. The “Four Women Showcase”, now with a new home at Hamburger Mary’s is going strong. The new “Chocolate Sunday Showcase” continues to expand on Sunday afternoons at Let Them Eat Chocolate, and this week we launch a new music venue – Magnolia Cafe. Then of course there is the new monthly event at Circuit and who knows what else. But, sometimes, not everything works out and the Open Mic that brought me back to music when I first moved here – 4.5 years ago now – is coming to an end.

Last night was hard. I left the Open Mic and with the top down, headed out for a drive. Then, wouldn’t you know it, it started to rain. Ok, top back up.. And a little more driving. I have always used a “long drive” as my way to escape and to put thought in to the problems or issues of my life. Maybe it is simply because no one can really bother you in your car – well, except for bad drivers. But when you really want to be alone, you just head out on the expressways and you have all the time in the world. I pointed my car west – and just started driving.

A lot of soul searching occurred last night – some of it a bit painful. Looking back at my time with Uncommon Ground and how painful it was to be told I was being let go did not come easy. Reliving it sucked. I had run out of the Devon location when I was told because I did not want anyone to see me cry. Maybe last night it was finally – after 3 months – hitting me just how hard it was. I had not let it get to me before. Sure I stepped up to the plate to not let it get to me when it first happened – kind of like breaking up with Kristen so many years ago, but then realizing a year later that it hurt. Maybe it had something to do with an odd “friend request” I received the other day too. For whatever reason, I began to cry – not a lot – I mean I was driving, but enough that I let my emotions out – for the first time since being let go. It was good and bad. It is always good to let your emotions out – holding them in does no good for anyone, but it was also bad because I had to admit to myself just how much it hurt. How I let one person hurt me so much. How could *he* not realize how much those Monday’s and Tuesday’s meant to me? Or maybe, and this was the painful part, he did realize it and just didn’t give a d*mn. Maybe it really was just “all about money”?

*sigh*

So this morning, as I sit at my day job, I realize it is time. With all the thinking last night, I did realize that maybe he was right and, even with the poor choice of words, it is “an end of an era” and it is time to move on. For these reasons, and others, I have decided to shut down the Open Mic I started a few months back. Sure, the “Four Women Showcase” will continue as will the “Chocolate Sunday” and Magnolia, but the “venue”, the soul of my music, something that I had worked my butt off in so many ways for 4 years, has come an end.

I don’t know what I will do after this. Some of you may laugh at this note in fact that I am writing and think nothing of it, that it is just a silly Open Mic. But to quote someone who wrote about it recently:

“…Fitzgerald’s philosophical endless love of music makes sure that everyone gets their chance and support at this open mic. It’s a breath of fresh air to see a hostess who is there to mentor and support the newcomers as they step on stage for the first time.”

I did this because I LOVED doing it. It was a part of me. I think that part has died.

Peace, love and light AND success to all those who strive to make their music heard and who make it their lives!!!

xo
Kat

You know what? No matter how many different searches I tried, I could not find out. To me this is amazing, that he and his assistants have such amazingly tight security that they have not leaked this information. WOW!

I mean, Mr. Limbaugh, you made a promise – to us – the American people – and more importantly to all your fans, those that love you and worship the ground you walk on. To break a promise of this magnitude – well, it just seems “un-American”!! No one in such power, with such a following would want to promote such bad behavior as lying directly to those you love – would you?

I have to blame myself for this. Perhaps it is my lack of computer skills – of knowing what to search for. Perhaps I am simply not a good googlezen – I need to go back to school. I am so ashamed to have to admit this in public, and in front of El Rushbo himself, that I am a failure at computers.

Of course it must be my public schooling – the socialized public-schooling- that I was forced into that has caused me to be so completely worthless. There is no other excuse. I should have picked myself up when I was but 6 years old and demanded to my parents to forsake all others (who needs a brother and sister) and use all their resources to send me to private school, where I would have been properly educated!!

It is obvious too that I must have failed my parents. I should have known to demand this – it is not their fault – it is mine and mine alone. Even at 6 I should have known, if I did not pull myself up and do all of this on my own, with NO HELP from anyone, I would be a complete failure. I am so ashamed – Oh Mr. Limbaugh, why didn’t I start listening to your show when I was young and it would have saved me from this humiliation?!

I can’t believe the public-school system – this horrible socialized excuse for an education is still in existence today. School must be PRIVATIZED – someone must make a profit from teaching our children. What has happened to this country – have we not been listening to Mr Limbaugh?!? And while we are at it, we better PRIVATIZE the fire department and if you want your house protected, just buy fire insurance – but you better make sure you buy the right kind for the fire departments in your area. You would hate to have a fire and find out you are not covered. And just think of all the money we could save if we PRIVATIZED the police? Then we just go out and buy police insurance. It would be so simple. And imagine how much safer we would all be with all these people running around with guns… We could all sleep better at night.

You know, come to think of it, we should privatize the banks too. Oh wait, they already are. Well, see, we don’t have problems with banks – just because they hold all the money, there is no problem there. We give them our money and they invest it wisely – they know better than we do – so that is a good thing. It seems strange to have this “Federal Insurance” for our money, I mean the banks are people, just like us, and they care about us, so we could get rid of another government run institution and all the waste. Just let the banks do what they are good at. Wait, what is it they good at?

I am beginning to see a pattern here – let’s just abolish the government – Rush is right – they are all crooks! It is the private sector we must put our faith in – and our money – all of it. We know Rush Limbaugh would NOT lie to us, not to the American people – not to his fans, so all of what he says MUST be true.. We must believe him and follow all that he tells us to do. He is looking out for our best interest – he wants us to keep all of our money – unless we have to give some of it to the companies in charge of our health, safety, homes, money, personal belongings, internal organs, etc.

So, could someone PLEASE help me to be more educated and learn how to use google or some other search engine so I can find out where Rush is flying out from – because I know he would not break a promise… Not to us.. Please????

Sincerely,
A Rush Fan who is so ashamed…
Kat

I began to wake up only a few months later. I knew I wanted to be involved in music – somehow. I never really had been before. Oh sure, I had been a music major in college, but my minor – Computer Science – is how I make my living. I never thought I was good enough to do anything in music.

One night I happened to be hanging out at a local “music venue” – it was a performance of a friend I had met. During that time, the engineer and host talked about needing another host/engineer for their open mic. I wrote down his email. I emailed him later that night. A few weeks went by and he emailed me back saying they already hired someone. I was kind of “smitten” by this venue, but it apparently was not to be. Oh well…

A month later I received an email saying the other person had not worked out and was I still interested – it was Dec of 2006. I jumped at the chance – a date with “her” – so to speak. I went in for “orientation” and a couple of weeks later, ran my first show. I fell in love with it. In one night I met more musicians than I had all year. A new passion had been awoken within me. At that moment I said to myself – “To hell with my ex – I will show her – I will become more involved in music than she could have even dreamed of!!! I will make her wish she had never left – that she never hurt me the way she did!”

Ok, so perhaps the motivation was, um, misguided, but the goals were real. I wanted to get more than just a taste of this amazing music scene in Chicago. I set out on my journey. I got involved – I listened – I did more – I listened more – I grew. All thanks to some of the most amazing artists I have every known. I even tried out for a local duo – and it soon became a trio – playing out with them and just enjoying making music along side everyone else.

Four+ years later, I just had another break up. My 2nd home has dumped me. Just like before – I must have done something wrong to deserve it. It must be my fault, but sadly, there seems to be nothing I can do to bring “her” back…

Parallels are funny in life. You hear the cliche’ of “history always repeating itself” and here I am again. Suffering from a broken heart. And yet, as I sit back and realize it is another chance for me to grow – for me to become even more involved in the music scene. I realize too that I am going to make “her” wish she had never dumped me – they will wonder “why did we let her go.. we must have been idiots.”

The music world of Chicago is my Second Home – right along side my own LGBT community. 2010 has only just begun. This past week has reminded me – I can do more, be more, make more of a difference! Nothing is going to keep that from happening. *THIS* is my year to truly make a difference – one I have been talking about all along.

My life’s journey has been about touching people’s lives – making a difference – a positive difference. And well, my “EX” has reminded me how much it hurts to be dumped – but it also reminded me that all it takes is a little motivation to get me started.

Thank you to my “ex’s” – (both of them) – for you have taught me valuable lessons. Your journeys will continue, both Kristen and that “other place” – but mine – mine is only just beginning – and I can tell you this – Karma is truly on my side, for I do not hurt and discard the ones that are important in my life… I will cash in my Karma chips – and the winners will be the communities I am a part of!!

Peace, love and light,
Kat

I just got done reading the current update on Prop 8 from NOM. I am still amazed at the level of mis-information you will go. I know this email will fall on deaf ears and perhaps in some way you will post it as a threat against you as you have claimed others have. But really, if people have had to quit a job because it came out they supported Prop 8, maybe that says something – maybe hiding in the shadows, in the dark, which is what you want to do, is wrong.

Perhaps standing up and speaking about what you believe, in a public forum, open to everyone, is something that makes you and your kind afraid? I would have no problem stepping out and saying, “I am lesbian, why do you all hate me so much?” Please don’t babble on about hating the sin and loving the sinner – you know that is not the case. You use it to deflect. Actions speak louder than words.

If you truly want marriage to be about procreation and loving moms and dads, then please be fair and deny all infertile couples the legal right to marry. Oh and I guess you need to abolish my parents marriage of 65 years since they can no longer pro-create.

If you want to “Protect Marriage” – although I still don’t understand what you are protecting it from – remember, we can’t marry, and we are not the ones having children out of wedlock – it is straight people. We are not the ones divorcing since we can’t marry – at perhaps the highest rate in history – that is you guys. I could go on, but why bother…

Why not come out from the shadows – the same shadows that the KKK hides in – why not be proud of who you are, step out in to the light and let us see the faces of those would would seek to take our rights away from us? We are not out to hurt anyone, but we do have the right to face those who call us an abomination – at least in this judicial system – so why not share your lists? Why? Because you are not afraid of retribution as you claim. You are simply afraid of the light – the same as the KKK and the Nazis and all others who choose to repress and deny the rights to those who are born different than the majority.

Why not debate me – a simple person – who has no real ties other than supporting the fight for our rights. I am not a public figure – I am not someone who hides from the light. Why not stand up and discuss common sense instead of legal trickery? Why not stop the lies and misinformation that you spread? Care to debate me? I doubt it, because you are all afraid – perhaps of your own shadows – and if you stay in the darkness with the other hateful people of the world, then, I guess, you truly do have nothing to be afraid of..

My heart goes out to you for one simple reason – you are a sad individual who has no power unless you are invoking your beliefs on others. That is the only way people like yourselves have any power at all – by trying to control what others think and well, I am simply sad for you.

Peace, love and light
Kat

Anyway, many of you may not agree with me – I know I am pretty opinionated and sometimes just off the hook about things, but, we – the gay community – are going about this whole gay marriage thing all wrong.

We are spending $$ MILLIONS on fighting in local, state and federal arenas to get the governments to recognize us as legitimate relationships. So why do we keep losing? One simple fact – in the eyes of the “right” or the “moral majority” or what ever you call them, we are not “equal” – we are an abomination as they like to remind us. They tell us we can be cured of our perversions and try to create “ex gays”. In fact a dear from of mine was seeing someone recently and well, after they broke up, the other person (not my friend) replied with a silly email that contained:

I have decided to give up the Gay lifestyle and give my life back to God..

Oh give me a break here. I mean this is so off the charts that we all know and laugh about it. I mean she has decided to “give up” her lifestyle? To me this makes me wonder, when did she “DECIDE” to be gay? *sigh*

So what is my point?

We all know it is not a choice. There is a reason 10% of the all the species of the world are gay. It exists in nature – in some way – we were made this way. So my point is simple – let’s stop spending the millions on FIGHTING the right and instead focus on finding the “gay gene” (for lack of a better word).

There is something out there in nature that makes us this way – they have studied the brains and characteristics of all sorts of animals and humans and find distinct differences in how gay and straight members of a species are indeed different. If we spent the millions of $$’s on figuring it out, then we could simply say, “Sorry folks, we were born this way” and be done with it.

Now imagine, ANY of these silly laws they put in to deny us marriage and more would be over turned by the justice system for one simple reason – they could not defend it. I mean if they still tried to deny interracial marriage it would NEVER stand up in court. If they tried to put something on a ballet some where denying us the right to marry, the Constitution would HAVE to be upheld to give us the rights – how could they go and say “well, just because a black person can marry a white person and well they are born that way, oh yeah wait, so are you, well we don’t care, we don’t like you…” They could not.

Let’s get out there are PROVE that we are who we are because we are BORN and not “made” by some environmental issues. We KNOW it but we must prove it. We must show the bigots that they indeed are bigots and nothing more. They are not going to “cure” us, or deny us rights that every other group or minority that is “born” is granted…

In all aspects of these challenges – they use the same arguments – that it is a “lifestyle”. They tell us we made a choice to be who we are. I don’t know about you but I am SICK AND TIRED of being told I made a choice.

I did not choose this!!!!

I knew it from when I could form words. I knew something was different. I was raised in a straight household by straight “traditional” parents – and yet I know I was born into who I was. Even my mother, to this day, a devout Catholic all her life, still tells me “of course I know you were born this way, I just wonder what it was inside me that might have contributed to it…”

I had a friend say to me once, and she was black, “why isn’t there something that identifies you, I mean it is obvious I am black…” I wish there was. I wish I was “rainbow” colored or had a pinkie longer on one hand or SOMETHING! It has to be there.

Isn’t it time we stood up for the fight we can win – the fact that we are simply who we are. I for one would donate a lot of money to scientific studies to prove it. And the fact is, I know there is proof – somewhere – because each and every one of us has something in us that makes us this way – it was not a choice – we know it – now let’s show them THEIR true colors – the bigotry that is inherent in those who continue to tell us “you can be cured” – you can be an “ex gay”…

And to those who think they “won” in Maine – the day will come when YOUR true colors will show through… And I have to tell you – they really are pretty ugly, no matter how you look at it.

Peace
Kat

Yesterday I worked at Uncommon Ground from about 1pm until 1am. I was working the shows for the World Music Festival and it was amazing. I even got to watch a world class drummer play my kit – kind of fun and made me want to take lessons again. But I digress.

So I had worked about 18 hours the day before for some “day job deadlines” and had gotten 2.5 hours of sleep. But if you know me, you know I function fine on no sleep – just wish I understood why, given all the other problems I have with my body. I have written about having “ITP” before and in fact this is where you can learn more about it: http://pdsa.org/

Not many people know about it or understand it well. It is a quiet “affliction” that does not get a lot of press, doesn’t have a “ribbon” (we do have a color-band though – blood red of course) Anyway, I thought I would write about this again, perhaps to help bring more attention to it and maybe help others who have it or any other platelet disorder.

So on my way home last night, which is a short 6 blocks, I had the top down, all my drums in the car, was exhausted, and knew it, but it had been an amazing day. Then it happened. It happens to people with ITP and can happen with little warning. I won’t go into all the details, as it is a little gross and messy, but suffice it to say I am glad I have treated leather seats that repel water (and blood)…

I thought I might be bleeding, and I was right, and the simple way to put is is that I “bled out” a bit and just put two and two together and think about the fact that there are few places for it to come “out” and add that to a leather seat, and well you get the idea.

Well, the firestation just happens to be on the way from UG to my home, and I was a block from it when this occurred. I knew I would not want to drive much more. I pulled in the parking lot and asked them to take me to the hospital. Thanks guys – you were wonderful!

So I spent the night in the hospital receiving IV-IG and a platelet infusion. IV-IG is Intravenous Immunoglobulin and I usually do that about once a month.. I missed last month which is most likely why I bled out in the first place. I also received some platelets and just want to thank anyone and everyone who has ever donated platelets. You help keep me and others alive.

Would I like a new body? Yep. Honestly, it is why I am single, it is not something that you just want to share with someone else. Oh sure there are those who get sick when they are with someone and that person makes a world of difference to help the other, but when you already know you are sick, well, it is not something you want another person to have to share.

So I am home now. Resting and taking the night off. I have band rehearsal tomorrow and then another part of the World Music Fest to go run, then back to Monday, the day job and Open Mic and more. Music is a passion of mine as is my photography. If I did not have it, I know I would not be here.

You know, when it all comes down to it, I hate my illness not because it attacks me, but because it makes me disappoint people and let them down for commitments I have made. (Sorry LCCP and HB)

But I guess, in all of this, I just have to be happy for my treated leather seats, since when I did pick up my car, well, I did not have to clean anything. Oh, the 1 out of 2 pairs of jeans I own? Yeah, those are ruined. Hmm, can I live with just 1 pair of jeans? Yeah, I mean I don’t really wear them that much and hate them. But that is another topic for another day..

So I just want to close by thanking those of you full of health, vigor and life,and remind others, that when you get a chance, donate blood, platelets, plasma, anything – you just don’t understand how many lives you help, and in fact, it could be someone you just talked to just a few hours ago…

Peace, love and light
Kat

I will never forget how I just sat in a room – with so many others – and just stared at the TV. Part of me wonders – in this age of “too much information” of how things might have been different WITHOUT the news media… In a way, I wonder if it might have been similar to “War of the Worlds” and the radio broadcast that brought fear and terror into so many lives because people thought it was real. Imagine if only snippets of what was going on was available on the radio – the increased fear and mass panic that would have filled this country and beyond – perhaps much worse than it was. But I digress…

As I sat in a room, watching military people move about, doing their jobs, buildings being locked down, barricades being moved into place, assault weapons at the ready and more – I remember crying. Partly because I had not heard from my friend and also because of the loss of life I was witnessing.

As I sat, tears in my eyes, and sobbing quietly, I will never forget what happened next.

A military police “soldier” carrying a very large weapon and decked in full body armor walked by me and saw me crying. He bent down and put his hands on my shoulder and asked if I was OK and what could he do for me.. I was startled for a moment, as his weapon was a mere inch or two from my face – and said to him, “Please, you have so much I am sure you should be doing – the least of which taking care of me – crying like an idiot.”

He looked at me, wiped the tear from one of my checks and said, “This is why I am here – this is why we are all here – to take care of each and everyone one of us, so what can I do?” We talked for a few minutes and I told him that I could not reach my friend in DC on her cell, but he told me not to worry, that most likely all cells were swamped – don’t think the worse…

He stayed with me for another 5 minutes and we talked. By the end of it, I had composed myself, at least enough to ask if there was anything I should be doing.

His name is Jeremy and he was then, and is still now an, Air Force Military Police Officer. We stay in touch to this day. He saved me from letting fear over take me and reminded me, that as a human race – not just as Americans – there are much more important things than just “doing your job.” Even as he rushed to defend the facility I was at, against possible threats, he stopped and shared the “humanity” that is what makes us all the same.

The cowards that attacked us that day did not attack just Americans, they attacked “humanity” and tried to put fear in everyone.

I spoke to my mother yesterday about all the anger and ” mean spiritedness” going around this country and this world right now, and realized I needed to pick up the phone and call my friend. I did. We only talked for 10 minutes, but it did remind me of one thing – we are all of one race – the human race, and as silly and cliche as it sounds, we all bleed the same. Black, white, brown, yellow — asian, american, hispanic, middle-eastern, indian, or muslim, christian, mormon, it simply does not matter the color of our skin or the religion we believe or not, but what matters is saying hello to a stranger, or giving the homeless person an extra $1 (or 2 or 3) or helping a friend when they need you, or just being yourself and letting others bask in the glow of “you” and your energy!

This day brings back sadness to many and anger to some – but perhaps what this day should remind us the most is that truly, “love” is the weapon we should all wield – because it truly does conquer all…

Peace, love and light
Kat